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The Mature Quit


golferman
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golferman
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20 years ago 0 563 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
CobenFan, I've been accused of a lot of things.. but pompous is not one of them. Yes, I have proudly strutted my quit quite a bit and if that comes off as righteous, well that isn't what I am trying to convey. Sadly, often times in life people do become successful without being mature. Celebrities are a perfect example. However, in the great scheme of life, I do believe that personal maturity must be achieved before we can have true success in life in general. I am not talking about financial freedom as a mark of success, I am talking about having that personal knowledge about your life and the confidence that comes with it, that only maturity can bring. I post here to make people think. I post here to support people in their quits. I believe that confidence breeds success and that helping people to become confident can provide them with the fuel they need to drive themselves onward to a successful finish. Those of us with long quits aren't righteous, we are experienced from having endured many, many trials along the way to get here. All of us veterans understand a great deal about the quit process and much more about ourselves. When we post that knowledge comes out. Most of us are very proud of our achievements and are eager to share our experiences with others. I can tell you though, and I can only speak for myself, that seeing people start and then fade away is more and more frustrating for me the longer I am quit. This is not due from any distain for newbies, but because my level of freedom from this horrible addiction is so unbelievable that I want so desperately for others to obtain the same freedom I have. I truly hope that you and Rob and everyone here are around in 9 months. That will be one hell of a party!! Best wishs. [b][color=Purple]Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Quit[/color] [color=black]Joe[/color] [size=3][color=Blue]Knowledge Replaces Fear[/color][/size] [size=2][color=purple]Hoping for success without hard work is like trying to harvest without planting.[/color][/size] [size=2][color=black]Illegitimus non carborundum est[/color][/size][/b] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 342 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,574 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $837.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[

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golferman
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golferman
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20 years ago 0 563 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hummy, LOL.. trust me.. I don't sit up nights thinking about the SSC! :p In this particular case, as I mentioned in my first post here, I was reading a story on the Internet.... and then .... POP!!! :8o: Yep, I love a good discussion and this one certainly has garnered some great posts!! I hope all the newbies on the Intro forum stop by for a "read" even if they don't post. You know, I grew up at the age of 18 and like you, spent years maturing. You raised an interesting point about the trigger that gets us to quit. I got both tired of the control cigarettes had over me as well as the feelings of being mortal. Does that mean I finally reached maturity? [b][color=Purple]Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Quit[/color] [color=black]Joe[/color] [size=3][color=Blue]Knowledge Replaces Fear[/color][/size] [size=2][color=purple]Hoping for success without hard work is like trying to harvest without planting.[/color][/size] [size=2][color=black]Illegitimus non carborundum est[/color][/size][/b] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 344 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,606 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $842.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 60 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

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duffis
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duffis
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20 years ago 0 832 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you Joe. As usual you have hit another nail on the head. After reading a lot of posts over the past year I have come to the realization that a lot of quitters are just not ready to quit. For what ever reasons that lead them to a site such as the SSC, it is just not enough and all the support in the world won't keep them quit. You and I both have watched them come and go. It is a shame to start to know these folks only to have them crash and burn when we though our help was going to make the difference. No matter how much encouragement we offer, without the will and determination of each individual there can be no success in the quest to become free of this addiction. Again, you and I have both preached that attitude is 90% of the quit and without it there is no success. Success is all around you. It's not in your environment, it's not in luck or chance, or in the help of others. Success is in yourself alone. I really wish that people would take more time preparing themselves for the quitting process and seeing themselves in a new lifestyle. Enough of my rant. It is so easy for me to go hyper critical when I see weakness and failure; that is one of my big faults. That is also part of my maturity. Duffis [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/13/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 433 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 13,011 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1112.81 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 86 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

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duffis
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duffis
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20 years ago 0 832 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lady you continue to grow, not only in your quit but also as a person. The answers do not come easy. One of the things I have noticed is that the people who are winning this war on addiction grew not only as strong influences on themselves but on others too. One goes hand in hand with the other or there is a great possibility of failure. We all have crosses to bear that have nothing to do with smoking or non smoking. It's called growing up. I mentor a group of middle schoolers who have about 200% more maturity than their parents. Life is life.......deal with it or loose the game. As for you Rob like Joe said "sue me" I don't know if you will be around in 8 or 9 months :eg: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/13/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 433 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 13,014 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1112.81 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 86 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52

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duffis
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duffis
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20 years ago 0 832 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have been put in my place by many people many times and mostly I do not find fault with their thinking, I just take another look at my self and try to discover how others are seeing me. None of us walk on water yet except for those living in the frozen tundra. I was really corrected the other night at a board meeting when I mentioned the word �failure�. That word has now been replaced by �delayed success�. And then to be referred to as pompous really teed me off. Ok so I may be out of touch with today�s world and I will freely admit that I am from the old school where right was right and wrong was wrong. Where no one was just a little pregnant where you tried to help your neighbor and we didn�t lock our doors. Life is about growth, which is wonderful, though not always easy. Indeed, many of life's lessons can be painful or difficult. Yet, such challenges are often the ones that present the most opportunity for growth. Initiations for growth come in many forms. In fact, we can view every challenge in life as an opportunity to learn and grow. While these disruptions in life are not easy, they are necessary. The challenges the universe sends us can seem unbearable at times: a job we don't want to spend another day at, a broken heart that feels as if it will never heal, or a long and painful illness. And then, there are the challenges that can be just as scary because we are being called to step up to the plate in ways that we may think we are not yet ready for: overcoming our fears in order to realize a lifelong dream, leaving behind a situation or people in our life that we may have outgrown, giving up smoking or moving across the world for our dream job or life partner. At such times, it can feel as if the world is testing us and that life is asking more of us than we think we can give. We may feel uncomfortable, frightened, and unsure of what to do. However, life isn't so much going against us as it is encouraging us to grow. During these periods, we can grow stronger by putting one foot in front of the other, as we work through our challenges. We may be asked to let go of old safety measures, shift old patterns of behavior, or step into the abyss of the unknown. When we do rise to the occasion, we end up better off for having made that jour

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hummybird
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hummybird
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20 years ago 0 1115 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Joe darlin' you'll have to ask your wife. She'll know better than me as to whether you're "mature" or not. I believe my husband is in the growing older, but not growing up stage. :p Guess it doesn't matter so much why we quit, just that we did. Everyone has replied to this post. Think up another one. This is fun. Remember when we use to get Joyful to come up with a new game for us? Well, you get to come up with a new thought provoking post. Have a good one. Hummy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/5/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 354 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 14,197 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2301 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 46 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

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hummybird
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hummybird
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20 years ago 0 1115 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
�my level of freedom from this horrible addiction is so unbelievable that I want so desperately for others to obtain the same freedom I have� Joe, that is a lovely statement. I feel it the most when I pick my daughter up from school and see several of the high school students rushing down the sidewalk to be far enough �off campus� to light up a cigarette. It just breaks my heart. As far as maturity and the quit are concerned, I can�t really answer that. I grew up in 6 months at age 23, matured for many years after that, and have been a fairly responsible person for most of my life. However, I continued to smoke for 30 years � not a statistic that I�m proud of. Is it easier for us to quit because we�re mature or have we just scared ourselves to death because of the cancer/copd scares or just gotten sick of the aggravation of smoking? This is an interesting thread. Joe, do you sit up nights trying to come up with �discussion� topics or do they just pop into your head? :eg: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/5/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 354 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 14,163 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2301 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 45 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

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ladybugg
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ladybugg
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20 years ago 0 1073 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
When my daughter was a small child, she started learning to walk. She would pull herself up on the couch, push off and take a few faltering steps. Then she would fall. Sometimes she fell with a little "oomph", then she would pull herself up and try again. Sometimes she would fall and it would hurt. I would pick her up, comfort her, hold her hand and lead her across the floor. Eventually, she learned she that if she didn't hesitate, she could stay on here feet. There was nothing I could do to help her learning curve. All I could do was encourage her...hold her hand till she didn't need my support, pick her up and brush her off when she fell, and always let her know that I thought she could do it. It wouldn't have done any good to tell her how to walk, she had to find her own way. All I could do was show her by example and hold out my arms to give her a target to aim for! [color=Purple]~lbugg~[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 402 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 21,308 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2653.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

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    $58,035.00

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    Days: 1040 Hours: 0

    Minutes: 54 Seconds: 14

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    7738

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    193,450

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Rusty
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Rusty
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20 years ago 0 2462 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I think I have more days into my quit than anybody on this thread, so I guess I'm more mature. :p My grandfather became a circuit riding minister after he lost his eye in World War I. He personally started 34 Methodist churches in little towns all over North Florida and South Alabama. He was the best man I have ever known in my life and perhaps the smartest. He smoked a cigar until the day he died, in a church at age 92. I just can't bring myself to question his maturity. My good friend is terminally ill from breast cancer. She never complains, never talks about her pain or her medications. She is the most positive person I know and inspires everyone who knows her. She has come to terms with the meaning of life and the meaning of death. And yet she continues to smoke. Mature? A hell of a lot more than I am. Rusty :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/13/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 496 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 13,902 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1736 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 68 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19

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    $62,608.00

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    Days: 833 Hours: 12

    Minutes: 14 Seconds: 49

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    6020

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    240,800

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