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Having a hard time being around smoking friends


CJ
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CJ
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20 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I put out a couple of posts recently, that two of my best friends have started smoking again one after a 2 year quit and one after a 6 month quit. These are the couples that my husband and I have been friends with for many years and we do everything together take trips, play cards and so on. My husband and I are now the only two that dont smoke (my husband has been quit for 15 years). I am now finding it VERY hard to be around them for any extended amount of time because the smell is making me sick. When I come home I am overwhelmed by the smell in my hair and clothes and have to shower just to go to bed. I swore I would NEVER become one of those people who was a prude about smokers but I fear that is what is happening. I love these people and dont know what to do. Just wondered if anyone else had been through this same scenario and any suggestions you might have. Thanks !!! CJ :confuse: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/8/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 111 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,227 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $310.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21

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CJ
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CJ
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20 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you all !! very good to hear I am not alone. Since my husband has not smoked for so many years, if it gets to be to much for him he just goes outside or tells them it is bothering him. I just have not gotten to that point yet. I have told him so many times since I quit that I cant believe he put up with me smelling like that all these 11 years of marriage and he said it is because he loves me (he really is the sweetest man you could ever meet) but he did say it was not easy at times as I can now imagine. I know I am going to have to say something to my friends and find a way to work out a compromise it is just not easy. Our lives turn a little (or a lot) upside down as it is when we quit smoking and then when we have to deal with situations like this it is something else added to the mix. I am so glad I can come here and talk about this with my new friends. CJ [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/8/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 111 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,228 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $310.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34

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Lady
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Lady
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20 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
CJ. I don't have any suggestions but I completely understand what you mean. I use to sit on the deck and smoke with my dad all the time. Now the smell of the smoke makes me sick. We don't talk anymore, we aren't getting along, and I find myself just resenting being around him. I am turning into one of those people who doesn't want to be around any smokers. It's not intentional, I just can't stand it. I don't know how my non-smoking friends put up with me for so many years. I look forward to the responses you get on this thread. Maybe someone will suggest something that will help both of us. About the only think I can think of is hate the addiction not the addict but that doesn't make being around them any easier. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 241 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,827 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $843.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18
butterfly swimmer
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butterfly swimmer
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20 years ago 0 2830 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
CJ, I completely understand where you are coming from. I had a roommate when I quit who continued to smoke and after I quit, there was suddenly a huge gap between us because I couldn't stand the smell. I know where Lady is coming from too because I used to go out on the porch and smoke with her and after I quit, we lost that commaraderie because I was no longer comfortable with going out there. So yes, I can totally relate. I would suggest going to non-smoking restaraunts or movies with them if they're willing to do that... places where you can't smoke at all. And instead of going over the their houses, try having them over to yours where they can only smoke outside. I know this must be rough for you and I hope you find a good solution that you all can live with. I like Melanie's suggestion of ask your husband what he did to put up with you for all these years? He might have some insight to this that you don't have, since he's been through this before. Talk to him and see what he says. I hope everything works out for you. Crave the Quit! Butterfly [IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c177/kissnflirt/butterfly3.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 122 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,059 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $402.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38
golferman
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golferman
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20 years ago 0 563 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
CJ, Very good post. My friends are all smokers. One came over last week while in town and we spent a pleasant evening shooting the bull. I went into the garage with him (old smoking place) while he puffed away a couple of times. It didn't bother me from a craving point, but the smell was obnoxious. I had the garage door cracked and an exhaust fan on. I tolerated it because I hadn't seen him for almost a year and it was just one evening. When he rang the doorbell and I answered the door, the stench of smoke on him almost knocked me over. Us smokers just never realized how much we smelled. Anyway... I dealt with it. Another friend of mine lives in a condo and puffs like a chimney. I used to go there all the time and watch golf with him (he is one of my golfing buddies) and just hang out. I've been there only once since I quit. He keeps inviting me but I don't have the heart to tell him that I can't stand the smoke filled rooms anymore so I make excuses. I guess I'm going to have to tell him why I don't go there anymore. Sooner or later you will probably have to face your friends and level with them. I don't blame you a bit for not wanting to subject yourself to it anymore. Your husband has more patience with smokers than I do! The way I see it, now that I'm quit, it's my choice if I want to sit in a smoked filled room or not. At my house the smoking (friends) are outside or in the garage (cold or inclement weather). At someone elses place you are at their mercy if they smoke indoors. That is what I choose to avoid. It sounds like you are there also. Best wishes. [b][color=Purple]Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Quit[/color] [color=black]Joe[/color] [size=3][color=Blue]Knowledge Replaces Fear[/color][/size] [size=2][color=black]Illegitimus non carborundum est[/color][/size][/b] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 288 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,209 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $705.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 50 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

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Josie-Health Educator
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Josie-Health Educator
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20 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
CJ, How has your husband dealt with it? Take the time to protect your quit. If these people are really your friends, then they will respect some time away from you. You can't make your friends quit, but you are setting a great example for everyone. Take some you time and relax. Give yourself some space and when you are ready you can jump back into things. Try activities, events or social gatherings where smoking is limited or not allowed. This will make you less smelly and your friends will not smoke as often. Just a suggestion, Josie ______________________ The SSC Support Team.

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