Since I quit smoking, drinking hasn't been nearly as fun for me. When i first quit, it was just aggravating, since i would have to make sure didn't get inebriated enough to lose willpower. Now, it's not that I crave smokes while drinking. It's that the drinking doesn't give me the same kind of buzz anymore. So I was thinking that maybe my drinking escapades (which used to be every weekend) were actually more about smoking than anything.
So, tonight, after having had alcohol once in 4-5 months, I went out to drink with some friends. I was particularly worried that I might want to "enhance the buzz" with a cigarette. I also knew that I'd be hanging out with people who smoke a lot when they drink, so I was anticipating some difficult feelings. I was also thinking about nonic's post on our tendency to slip up during the holidays.
As it turns out, I really didn't get any significant cravings this time. I even sat outside with the smokers so I could talk to them.
What I found was that I was kind of revolted by the smoke, I kept trying to get myself upwind so I wouldn't have to smell it. There was only one point where I just half thought about me smoking. It was, like all my "craves" have been lately, just a memory of how cigarettes used to make me feel. I told one of my friends that I might have to go inside if the thought got too strong. His response was to offer me one. ???
And that's when I realized that I really, really didn't want one. I told my friend, "I'm an addict, and I don't want to wake up craving a cigarette tomorrow. ...I also don't want to puke tonight."
I figured that either or both of those outcomes were distinct possibilities.
Glad I didn't do it. I'm also not as nervous about the idea of drinking anymore.
